The European w/ the Epic 471MB Flash Drive

 

The European with the 471MB USB

From time to time, customers at our food place would compliment our piped in music. Not to brag, but I do curate our playlist to match the mood of the place. Music contributes a lot to the ambiance and overall experience. I love doing it too, an excuse to search for more music and expand my own personal catalog.

The shop’s music collection is stored in a bunch of USBs that we alternately plug into our speakers. I recently just updated one USB to accommodate Christmas music (yes, we’re slowly crawling our way to Christmas so might as well soften the “blow” by conditioning ourselves through music haha.)

Recently, our staff said that a customer once again expressed how much he loved our music, praising one particular song. He asked for the title, but no one in the store knew. I wasn’t present that time. He and my partner chatted a bit and my partner mentioned that it was me who’s in charge of our store music and I was the one who could provide the song title.

A few days later, he came back to dine in again. I was present that time, so we chatted a bit. Let’s call him Fred. He is German who lives in Switzerland and travels the world for work. The dream life. He was in Baguio for a few weeks to conduct some business with the LGU.

I asked him, what was that particular song you liked? He said, it was a male singer, with a guitar, and the song is relaxing, warm. He couldn’t remember the melody though.

In my mind: Oh no, that could be any song. That particular USB is 90% folk/indie/acoustic.

Good thing he conveniently had a blank/empty USB with him, and I volunteered to transfer all the music from our USB to his (at least the USB that contained his desired music). We worked on how he would pick it up, as I had no means to transfer the music that night- my laptop was at home. He was also about to leave Baguio in 2 days. We agreed that he would pick it up the next day.

Funny how I even said, “If you want, I can give you all my music since you seem to love folk.”

He said, “If it’s not much of a hassle?’

I said, “No, it will probably only take 5 clicks max.”

He said thanks. It’s always nice to share music with strangers.

I made a mental note to do it first thing when I get home.

That night, when I arrived home, I plugged his USB into my laptop, ready to do those 5 clicks:

Click 1: Open folder of USB A (I keep a back-up in the laptop of the catalog in every USB. Music is that essential.)

Click 2: Ctrl +A  – Select All

Click 3: Ctrl + C – Copy

Click 4: Open his USB…

---- OH.

His USB’s storage is 471MB… that’s not even 5 albums.

Abort!!!

Oh no… how am I going to transfer all the music from USB A, when the entire catalog is about 2.5 GB?

How come a European from a Developed country STILL owns a USB like this? Hahaha kidding.

Funny how I simply assumed that no one owns a 400+MB USB anymore. Last time I had one was in college, in 2006.

If only I knew which song he liked, I would just transfer that specific album/playlist. Most of these albums are MP3s converted from 2-hour YouTube playlists, so 1 playlist file is about 90MB-120MB at least. And the USB had about 10 playlists in there, plus other albums and popular songs that didn’t match the description of his song choice. His song is definitely in one of those YouTube-to-mp3 playlists.

I didn’t want to disappoint him, but I also didn’t know how I was going to make things possible at this point. The first step I thought of was to eliminate/delete all those albums and songs that I was sure didn’t match the description of THE song. Next was to compress the remaining playlists. I went online to find an MP3 compressor that would turn 120MB files to 50MB ones.

Those 5 clicks I predicted that would take up a maximum of 5 minutes… turned into multiple clicks and 2 hours. Hello, Philippine Internet. LOL. Anyway, I would compress one file, and leave it loading, then go about my evening, then do another, and so on.

Finally, when all files were able to fit the epic 471MB USB, I called it a night, put the USB in an envelope, scribbled “for Fred” with a marker, and put it in my bag, making a mental note to hand it to our staff or my partner the next day to hand to him.

It was all worth it, because not only did he leave a Thank You note, he also left a bottle of Soju. He wrote that if ever my partner and I find ourselves in Germany or Switzerland one day, we should contact him. His email address was scribbled on the note too.

Two hours is nothing compared to making a new friend, for sure, who will hopefully enjoy the music wherever he is in the world (he said he was off to India next). Music in his 471 MB USB (sorry, it is now an inside joke).

We surely enjoyed the Soju, 3/4 of which I drank.

Any other person interested to have music transferred to your flash drive, please bring one with 8 GB storage space at least…

- Ivee (10/06/22)

Pag-Usad (song)

 

photo taken in 2021

PAG-USAD (song)

Natapos din, ngunit hindi nakamit ang ninanais, ang pinaghirapan mo.

Hindi lahat ng layunin ay makakamtan, 'di ibig sabihing ito'y walang kahulugan.

Maglakad at maglakbay, ikumpas ang iyong kamay sa pintig ng iyong puso kahit na...

Tila naisantabi ang layunin.

Nakapikit ang katabi at nasisilaw pa sa liwanag ng pag-asa

Ayos lang, hawakan ang kanyang kamay.

At magpatuloy sa pag-usad...

At sa iyong paglakad, ang daan ma'y mabato

O baka maputik ang tatahakan mo.

Natural lang yan, may daan ding aspalto

Huwag mag-alala, kasama mo ako...

Maglakad at maglakbay, ikumpas ang iyong kamay sa pintig ng iyong puso kahit na...

Tila naisantabi ang layunin.

Nakapikit ang katabi at nasisilaw pa sa liwanag ng pag-asa

Ayos lang, hawakan ang kanyang kamay.

At magpatuloy sa pag-usad...

-Ivee B.

Joni Mitchell’s “Blue” Turning 50, and How this Album Changed Me in a Big Way

 

Joni Mitchell’s “Blue” turned 50 on June 22, 2021. I don’t know about you, but 1971 seemed to be a year when the musical gods and goddesses decided to shower endless inspiration to songwriters, singers, and musicians. There are just SO many great songs & albums released in 1971, well in the 70s overall.

I have always been an old soul and musically, moreso. Joni’s “Blue” album has always been around my space. I mean, I was born a decade a half plus minus after its release.

For years since college I’ve had files of Joni’s music in my old floppy disks (kidding, CDs). I don’t even know how I had them, I think my older brother Thommuel put them there, back when making mixtapes was tantamount to saying “you matter” or “sorry” or “hello”.

But I was only really interested in some Joni songs like “Big Yellow Taxi” and “Woodstock” and “Both Sides Now,” and didn’t care for the rest. Maybe listening to and appreciating certain types of songs require a level of depth and emotional slash musical maturity, which I didn’t have back then (I dont know if I have it now but whatever).

So years passed, I would sing Both Sides Now, Circle Game (which my musician friend introduced to me), and Big Yellow Taxi, plus Woodstock, but that was it. They were all songs, you know, songs you sing, you play, because if you supposedly like folk you should at least know some Joni songs.

One day in 2017, I was using the computer in an internet shop (the one at Porta Vaga which eventually closed. FYI non-Baguio residents, Porta Vaga is this mini-mall here in Baguio that has the cleanest 2^nd floor restroom in the history of clean mall restrooms). Our laptop at home was wonky and I needed to do some random computer work. The caucasian ( is it racist to say caucasian) guy two computers away was talking so loud to whoever he was conversing with online, almost shouting. So I put on the headphones provided (which in hindsight is kinda not the most hygeinic thing to do), opened YouTube, and looked for music to play. I cannot remember how I stumbled upon Blue. I think it was a recommendation from YouTube, or something that was auto-played after several songs, or the musical spirits possessing me to type “jni mitchl blu” (admit it you type like that too). I can’t remember.

But lo and behold. A Case of You played. And I just found myself... dumbstruck. I paused. Listened. Then I found myself...crying. Crying! Seriously. Right there in the middle of a sad old internet shop. Not dramatic-levels-crying- with-runny-swelling-nose, but still-poised-with-tears-gently-running-down-your-cheeks type of crying. Then I opened an entire playlist, a playlist of Joni Mitchell’s “Blue” album, and I ended up staying for another hour at that net shop.

The feeling it gave me.. it was almost like it carved a hollowness in my heart. You know witnessing something so beautiful it makes you both happy and melancholic, because it’s SO beautiful, it consumes you? Hmmm... so beautiful it’s limitless but then you can’t really do anything about it, except, witness it?

I don’t know what I was going through that time; maybe “Blue” simply echoed my current inner world that time, made it tangible. Joni’s voice in that particular album was tainted, or embellished, with something that’s not sadness but also not joy... not dread, not anticipation... not frustration and not celebration. Not the excitement of love nor the agony of it. She didn’t sound like she was madly in love, nor did she sound like she experienced unrequited love. She didn’t sound like she was angry nor did she sound grateful.

None of those.

So many things it’s not. I guess her voice, her singing, her music in that album... felt very impermanent, transitory.

Very nuanced, like...how everything really is. Unlike many if not most songs, love songs in particular, that would either say “I Will Always Love You” and “I don’t wanna miss a thing,” Joni said things like “All i really want our love to do is to bring out the best in me and in you too” and “I made my baby say goodbye” and “i could drink a case of you and i would still be on my feet.” (SO thankful she didn’t write, “i could drink a case of you and I can’t move" or something. Thank goodness she said she said she is still able to stand firmly.)

Joni's self-portrait

Listening to Blue the 1st time, learning its songs, eventually falling in love with A Case of You, studying and listening to it for a full year before I even had the guts to sing it, really opened new doors for me as a singer. Not only did I get to explore new singing techniques (for instance jumping from one octave to another, from two vocal placements making sure you stay with the pitch!), new guitar tunings (Joni has over 51 tunings), and new ways with words, it has also affirmed that we need to continue staying vulnerable and embrace our experiences fully, with no judgment. That's how Joni has always been, even in her personal life. She had her own struggles, had several heartbreaks, gave up a child for adoption in her young adulthood, eventually rekindling with her daughter after many decades but not having a great relationship with her as they were basically strangers.

Of course I do not advocate for that struggling, starving, sad artist image. We do not always need suffering to create beautiful, worthwhile, meaningful things. Also it’s not always about us. I’m sure Joni was and is not always writing about herself, as it would obviously be a limited way of sharing. We don’t know everything, and our filter won’t suffice to represent the bajillion ways other people filter similar experiences, like heartbreak, or happiness, or going back home to California (e.g. her song “California”).

Joni didn’t bother erase her femininity to look like she could rock. She was wearing these lovely dresses while out-guitaring, out-writing many male artists (ehem, Bob Dylan, who sounds like nails on a chalkboard, sorry. Many say he didn’t deserve the Nobel prize, and I don’t have any opinions about that, but all i know is my head hurts every time I listen to him sing. Like a Rolling Stone and Blowing in the Wind are tolerable but that’s basically it). She didn’t oversexualize herself too, not that it matters, but she was just...herself. A person who can write songs, who can sing, who can play, and she happened to be female. No biggie.

Vulnerability is a central theme in Blue, and not in a fragile, shaky, obsessive, neurotic, desperate way, but in a very self-aware and almost unapologetic sense. My struggle as a person has always been avoiding showing vulnerabilities, to appear normal and likeable. I’m the LAST person who will ask for help or reach out, swear. I always perceive myself as the helpful person, not the needy one. I grew up pretty independent, fending for myself and being left alone since god knows when, so I’m used to really taking care of myself, but of course we all need a little help sometimes, right? We all wear masks, for sure (and I don’t mean facemasks to prevent COVID-19 transmission). We need masks & mild pretenses to survive in a supposedly civilized society. What I’m learning in the last few years is to not wear a mask, but maybe just a translucent veil. It’s OK to be vulnerable. It’s OK to need help sometimes, to make mistakes and not carry everything.

What makes us who we are, whether artist or person, are these vulnerabilities. Maybe it’s what makes us relatable. Joni is a voice that sings how she herself made bad choices, mistakes, and had ambivalence over many things, yet she's OK. How empowering.

“Blue” is the album that makes you like it more and more every time you encounter it, like genuine people you grow more fond of every time you meet them.

That’s it. Genuine. Joni’s “Blue” album simply reminds us, me, that at the end of the day when everything is stripped, when there is no fanfare, no loud drums, no Facebook posts to collect likes and hearts, and just your voice, or your head hitting the pillow... are you happy? Are you yourself? Are you at peace? Did you hurt anyone? Do you regret your life and your past actions? Did you make the most of yesterday?

“All I really want to do... is to bring out the best in me and in you too” - Joni sings in the first track, All I Want.

May we always just wish to bring out and see the best in every person we encounter, and in ourselves too.

-ivee

{{{btw to celebrate Joni's "Blue" I did a tribute last June 22. :) }}

 photo credits:

1. Joni Mitchell's Blue cover art from covermesongs.com (altered)

2.  "Joni Mitchell self-portrait" by Jenny J is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

 

The Lost Art of Burning CD Mixes, And Other Niceties

Left- CD Mix from my friend Iza.
Right- CD Mix from my older brother Thommuel .
(I made Spotify playlists of both Mixes, available below!)

The last time I was at my parents’ house in QC, I got to rummage through memorabilia and things, particularly my old CDs- Mandy Moore, a bootleg copy of a live recording of Lea Salonga’s concert from 1990-something, The Cardigans, and other albums of artists kids these days probably wouldn’t care to know. 

Still, there’s nothing like those burned CD mixes that carried well-thought out playlists.

I have two burned CD mixes that I still remember to this day. 

One was this CD burned by my friend Iza, who’s one of the most musically talented people I know, and it just made perfect sense that she’s now a music teacher. She’s a multi-instrumentalist but I think I admire her most as a cellist and singer. I used to hang out and play music at her place a lot. She gave me this CD as a graduation gift (I’m two years ahead of her so when our class graduated she had sepanx. Agree, Iza?). 

The other CD was burned by my older brother Thommuel, who barely exists in the interwebs but I think he’s really just ahead of his time. He used to wear pomade in the mid-2000s when it wasn’t cool (he had to buy the lolo type of pomade at Mercury Drug that had a strong lolo smell), and he introduced me to Itchyworms and all these other bands back when they were first starting out (My favourite Itchyworms song is actually “Happy Birthday” from “Little Monsters Under Your Bed”). Kuya Thommuel gave me this CD to reaffirm his position as THE musical authority. 

 

I have other burned CDs from ex-puppy-loves, ex-loves, ex-friends, and friends-turned-acquaintances, but let’s not go into that. I still kept the CDs though, not so much the people. That’s how life rolls, people metaphorically burn and drift into nothingness, think End Game. Lol.

I’ve also had my fair share of CD-burning, which was both a treat and a task. I remember those days when dial-up internet made it impossible to download songs at home (well it WAS possible, but then your prepaid card would be used up by then. Yes, kids, we used prepaid cards for internet back in the day), so I’d go to an internet shop to have CD mixes burned. These CDs came with a free case and a printed copy of the track listing, usually in Comic Sans or Jokerman font. Gotta love those fonts.

Then came better internet (well, “better” in those days), better computers, better or at least more evolved taste in music, making it easier to burn CDs at home. It was common practice to hoard blank CDs that came with sticker labels, but since they looked boring I’d go for those CDs with printed designs (Tweety/Bugs Bunny CDs, floral CDs, and anything that screamed “I’m cool and unconventional,” only to realize everyone was going for cool and unconventional). Even with those stickers and designs, I think we always ended up just writing ON the CD, usually with colored pens. The CD Burning sages would advise against it; they warned that the pen’s chemicals could affect the CD. I guess nobody believed it because everyone was doing it anyway.  

From Reddit

Once the CD mixes were burned and gifted to friends and family, it was going to be either one of two things- they would listen to the CD, or not. There was a much higher chance that they would listen because unlike today where you can Google everything and pretend you listened but actually just Googled the lyrics, it was polite behaviour to listen. Well I never not listened, and probably still never won’t listen, but apparently some people nowadays won’t and don’t, but pretend to. Which sucks.

Burned CD mixes are a thing of the past, and that’s OK. There was just something about burning a CD mix that made you appreciate the effort, and made you say, gee thanks, I’ll keep this forever. I have the utmost respect for people who still do it to this day. I understand that many of us want to produce as little waste as possible, thereby going CD-free. But these days, how many people say things like, hey, I made a Spotify playlist for you, listen to it?

Thoughtfulness used to be a thing. I remember it was standard behaviour to always bring something when you visit a house, or send a thank you note or text after meeting a friend or acquaintance. I’d still do that sometimes, but without much enthusiastic response. Maybe I’m just a boomer, just too old-fashioned and left behind, but I think we should maintain these niceties. 

Niceties seem to be lost in the rubble of coolness and apathy, the haystack of hustle and grind, the murky river of influencers, endless scrolling, and meaningless “hearts”. We think we know people just because we see them every day on Facebook or Instagram, just because we chat with them occasionally. It’s weird how you always chat with some people and think you’re good friends, but the actual face-to-face interaction is totally different and underwhelming, maybe because you’ve exhausted everything and there’s nothing left to talk about or know about each other?

It’s scary to think that this is the future (present?) of social interaction, and I know I’m guilty of being on Facebook more frequently than I’d like myself. I refuse to accept it though, we should refuse to accept it. Not that it’s all that bad; these online tools are “tools” for a reason. But friendship doesn’t end there. We all deserve good friends and meaningful interactions, and it takes some work to get or maintain these.

Back in the day, the “work” involved little acts that build up, like burning CD mixes, spending after school hours eating fish ball outside campus, talking on the phone, writing letters, and really being present. Now it’s all scrolling and half-listening, user-friendliness (as in using people and calling them friends when you need them), and online interactions with short-term acquaintances who you probably don’t mind ever meeting again anyway. No wonder loneliness has been called an epidemic. 

We cling so much to short-lived but seemingly good “memories” thinking everything must be eternal, like keeping people that we barely have life-giving connections with. Eternity isn’t always good. It robs us of the present and robs us of more meaningful relationships and interactions to come.

But yes, burned CD mixes and niceties are eternal. Oh and as an act of love or at least a nicety, I’ve made Spotify playlists of the two CD Mixes from Iza and kuya Thommuel, all for you. Enjoy. :)

  

Click to visit the Spoitfy playlists :)

Spotify CD MIX 1

Spotify CD MIX 2

Hanging with the Raisin Girls (and Boys) at Night of Hunters: Tori Amos Night 2013

Tori Amos will forever be my goddess, my music icon.

No, not in a fan girl way. Tori Amos is this entity of musicality, spirituality, sexuality, beauty, creativity, and consciousness... yet still so real. I love her in a way that I resonate with the drumming of her soul, something that I simply cannot explain. A bliss of another kind.

I was lucky enough to be part of Night of Hunters: The Annual Tori Amos Night at Conspiracy Garden Cafe, Visayas Avenue, which is held every August of the year to celebrate Tori dearie's birthday.

Can't believe my name is here. I'm still dazed.

The goddess turned 50 this year.

She's 50, yes! Unbelievable? Partly botox of course. But still...

I remember being 19 and simply dreaming of even just attending Tori Night. I'd read about it in the Internet. I knew there was a bunch of toriphiles (people who avidly listen to Tori Amos--okay, her "fanbase") in Manila, but I didn't know how to reach them. That time, everything was limited to Yahoo Groups and exclusive online communities. Thanks to Facebook, last year (2012), I was able to contact the organizers, Ms. Charms and Mr. Alden, and I gathered my carabao skin and, ahem, volunteered to perform for Tori Night. I don't normally present myself in such a thick-faced and shameless kinda way, but for Tori, I would!

Imagine the bliss I felt when I got to meet people who loved Tori the way I did; imagine a room packed with people jamming to her songs! Tori isn't very well-known in the mainstream, and as much as I would like everyone to like her, I only know a handful of people who genuinely do. (call me weird)

This is me performing during last year's Tori Amos Night at Conspiracy Garden Cafe:

 

 Sleeps with Butterflies

I was in an unexplainable form of ecstasy that night, more than that blissful feeling of eating ice cream, seriously. Better than any addicting drug. This was the weed of music. The weed of TORI.

For this year's Tori Night, I was even more ecstatic to find out that a bunch of artists I look up to would be performing as well! Wawi Navarroza, Kate Torralba, & Tao Aves (who performed last year too). I was starstruck. My love for Tori and her piano-playing has led me to share a piano/stage with those artists. You are cosmic, Tori.

Kate, Wawi, and Tao.
(Kate's photo from a video screenshot from her FB; Tao's photo from her FB profile)

 

Meanwhile, this is me, the wannabe, attempting to "do a Tori":
 

Far from this, of course:

Looking forward to next year's Tori Amos Night!

In the meantime, I'll have to make do with performances at home with my dad as my loyal audience.

Enjoy the torgasm!

♫♪,

Ivee

Film 1 : From Santolan to Guadalupe

One lazy afternoon, I took the MRT and shot the entire trip from Santolan to Guadalupe station (with a few cuts), not intending to create something out of it.. You know that perfect feeling when the perfect soundtrack hits you like a bullet in the gut as you view the crazy world from the window train? That's what inspired me to create this simple video, in the lens of a typical city person going about a typical city life.