I can’t write when I feel like shit

That glamorized image of a writer, painter, musician, insert-type-of-artist-here, down in the dumps, creating genius work in a place of darkness, isn’t true for everyone.

I don’t consider myself a “writer” but someone who likes to write from time to time. And no, I can’t write when I feel like shit. And right now I feel like shit.

It’s a wonder how these artists are able to carve out something beautiful or worthy or just plain something, anything, out of that piece of [metaphorical] fecal material.

Energy matters to me a lot, so when the energy is just not there, or at least the energy is not this raging fire ignited by inspired energy (it’s a loop really), nada.

Though there are a badigikijillion energies of different frequencies, the two main types are really positive and negative. Positive could be anything from beauty to awe to inspiration to excitement to learning. Negative could be anything from sadness to fear to hate to constipation.

Apologies for my sailor’s mouth (or mind). Sociologist Brene Brown said that in intense moments, the two things we do are cuss and pray. Fall on our knees in full surrender to the Greater Being, or fall flat on our backs in frustration with not a smudge of care for propriety.

Cussing and praying sometimes happen simultaneously. I do more cussing in my head than praying, or sometimes even include some cussing in my prayers. Don’t tell me you don’t do that, Pinocchio.

Anyway, going back to the two energies, positive energies are easier to navigate than the negative ones. It’s easy to be open, to communicate well, and to be kind when we are feeling good or happy. 

But when we’re in negative energy states? (Wo)man, that’s when shit gets real.

That’s when we elevate ourselves. In the words of the not-a-guru guru Tony Robbins, that’s when we “raise the bar.”

Time for me to raise the bar now and stop feeling like shit.

Uhm, did I actually just write something in this shitty state or what?